Beware of Pride

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I remember some words that Siddhartha Gautama said that "if we assume an attitude of humility, our qualities will grow, while if we are proud we will be prey to jealousy and anger; and we will see others with contempt, so the only thing that we will achieve is that unhappiness reigns "then we need to ask ourselves in our subject about marriage, how can humility in marriage help me? Humility is the recognition that, although our needs are important, so are the needs of others; it is the provision to admit that we do not fully understand the truth; is to open ourselves to the opinions of others; Humility is the willingness to admit that we have made mistakes. It allows us to continue learning and growing.

 If we strive to be humble of heart, then our life experience will change, we can self-evaluate: it is common to be able to observe the faults in other people, be critical of them and know the solution (we can think, why not this or that to solve your problem do?) It is easy to see the mistakes in others, but it is not in ourselves, we tend to be overwhelmed in our problems, we are blind to pride, humility offers us that door to be able to observe our faults and find a solution to our problems. If you think about it, many of the discussions as a couple have an origin in pride, when we find a criticism of our person, instead of evaluating the argument and thinking that maybe it is valid or not, we usually put ourselves in a position of defense and we argue, and we continually try to validate our position, even if it is wrong, but if we were humble we would recognize our faults, we could open ourselves to the experience of our partner.

Selfishness, individualization, jealousy and anger come from pride, Irving Becker observed: "If someone does not like you, the way you hold the spoon will infuriate you; if you like it, you can spill a whole plate on your lap and you will not care. "Sometimes, we do not even notice that we are choosing between feeling angry or calm. Sometimes, we do not recognize that our hearts are hard on some people and soft on others. Although sometimes we try to handle conflicts by avoiding them, arguing them to the point of exhaustion, or living painfully with them, there is a better way. We can address the conflict with our renewed hearts. Instead of resenting the irritation when it occurs, we can choose to see it as an invitation to activate our hearts. We can learn to appreciate music in the lives of others.

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Pride, according to Gottman's research, can also be reflected in the influence of one partner on the other, usually the power relationship between husbands and wives, "Statistically speaking, when a man is not willing to share power with his partner there is an 81 percent chance that his marriage will self-destruct. Obviously, it takes two to make or break a marriage, so we're not singling out men here. "This can also be understood in President Benson's words" Another face of pride is contention. Arguments, fights, unrighteous dominion, generation gaps, divorces, spouse abuse, riots, and disturbances all fall into this category of pride. Contention in our families drives the Spirit of the Lord away. It also drives many of our family members away. "When we are humble enough to hear another's vision, compassionate enough to want to understand and help, and positive enough to observe the good of the other, our hearts change. We prepare ourselves to have rich and full relationships with all kinds of people.